Fathers and Sons
by Bartimus Crotchety
Summary: One lost night in Korea, two lost and lonely people comforted one another, a night that haunted BJ Hunnicutt for years, sometimes something unplanned can have a lasting result on the world, this particular result has big feet. This is a sequel to Closer than a Brother and Fathers and Daughters, you might need to read them first.


**Author Notes:** I know the content of this story is pretty bleak, and I hesitated to add it to the website because of the content, I never want to be manipulative in what I do, maudlin for the sake of maudlin is something I personally despise, its the difference between Patch Adams and Good Will Hunting. You can always tell the genuine article.

When I first wrote Closer than a Brother, It all came quickly and easily, Fathers and Daughters was something I wrote without much struggle as well, but this story was a long hard pull.

This story picks up where Closer than a Brother finishes, and it has a scene in it from just a year or two after Fathers and Daughters so I think it offers a bridge.

Adding a character just for the sake of adding a OC you can put your name on is another pet peeve of mine and yet here I am doing that in this story, however, this thought, what if Carrie Donovan and BJ's one lost night had long term consequences just stuck with me.

The young man that resulted was a well-rounded character, and I fell in love with him immediately, which made finishing this story so difficult, but rewarding.

His act of heroism is based on an actual first cousin of my Mother's, she named my older brother after him, his name was SP4 John Mitchell Hicks, and he is on the wall. He was a radio man and the newspaper article on his death gave a similar act of heroism to the one I used here.

There are giants who walk the earth but do not shake the ground, or change the direction of rivers, but their presence is felt long after their passage.

Hope you enjoy this, glad to be back among you again.

**Bart**

* * *

**Fathers and Sons**

The letter, delivered by two grim faced men in uniform, was still caught in his numb fingers, but he was not even aware of it.

He sat in his office trying to cope with the surge of grief in his chest.

_So young…so damned young!_

"BJ?" he heard his wife calling, she had run out to the grocery store and missed the now departed visitors. He almost did not answer, but his old psychologist had told him time and time again, _a natural reaction to severe pain is to huddle in the corner like an injured dog and bite any hand that comes near to help, the only way to stay healthy is to share your burdens with those who love you and be transparent…_

"I'm in here, Peg," he called out, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.

She came in and ever his better half read his pain immediately, her eyes glanced down to the official letter recognizing the significance, it was something they had been preparing themselves for, but the reality was something else entirely. "Oh, BJ, I'm so sorry."

She approached cautiously and wrapped her arms around her husband as he buried his face in her chest.

He knew that most women would feel jealousy and anger that he was hurting this much, but she had made her peace years before over her tender-hearted husband and his attachments, and he had more attachment to this than most.

_One lost night in Korea, one indiscretion in all our years of marriage, under such extreme circumstances, and this is where it led._

She bent down to kiss his forehead. "You should call Carrie," she said keeping her tone even, being strong for him.

He nodded.

"Peggy…I…"

She put a finger to his lips. "We've had this discussion many times, Mr. Hunnicutt, my feelings have not changed, nor will they, he was your son, just as much as Ben, and she needs a phone call, I won't hear an argument."

"If you need me I'll be finishing up dinner."

She left him to his privacy. He wondered why she was not more jealous of this, he knew that a lot of women would be green eyed Medusas by now, but BJ had punished himself so frequently over the years he guessed she believed it almost moot to add to the damage.

As she left, BJ remembered the first time they ever saw Jake.

**4077th Reunion:**

The 4077th reunion weekend was in full swing. They had decided to have it in Iowa this time, and the surrounding country was breathtaking.

The O'Reilly farm was hours away from the nearest big city, but they did not fear the lack of immediate medical services; the place was lousy with doctors and nurses after all.

He and Hawk were sitting in their lounge chairs, watching everyone arrive, it was tradition, two kings reviewing the serfs below, enema bottle hung on the IV stand between them today filled with O'Reilly cider, since neither of them drank anymore. The cocktail glasses stayed though.

"BJ," said a familiar voice, they looked up to see Margaret Houlihan-Parks making her way up the hill.

"Approach, dear lady, thou art pleasing to my eyes," Hawk called with a leer. Margaret was happily married, to a Frank, that joke never got old, but Pierce still flirted with her and was rebuffed with equal amount of enthusiasm.

"Stuff it, Pierce, I need to talk to BJ," she shot back. "We've invited her every year, but she never came until now, and you need to see who came with her before your wife does," Margaret informed breathlessly.

BJ felt an odd sense of fear creep in. "Who?"

"BJ, you need to see this kid, I swear he looks the spitting image…" said Trapper as he crested the hill on Margaret's heels from a different direction. Trapper John had started coming to the weekends five years before, invited by BJ, and the three had struck up an easy alliance. Of course that was after a long terse conversation with Hawk.

Trapper dutifully stopped and leered at Margaret. "Hiya, Hot Lips," he said with a broad grin.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I was trying to tell BJ about…"

Trapper glanced back over his shoulder. "Yeah, I thought you was the married man, Hunnicutt, the one who stayed true in Korea, you can't tell me that you didn't stray at least once because the proof is standing down there."

Hawk shot up and looked at his stunned friend. "Carrie Donovan," he said slapping him on the knee with a big grin.

BJ's confusion cleared up and was replaced by a sense of terror.

He stared past Trapper at the family that was unloading a station wagon. One of the boys towered above the rest of the family.

"I bet he's got big feet too," Hawk said nudging his friend in the side.

BJ shot his friend an irritated glance. "This is not the time for it, Hawk."

"Actually this is precisely the time for it," Pierce crowed. "Yank me out of residency, send me across the world into a war zone, no problem, I'm BJ Hunnicutt, I'll become one of the best surgeons in Korea. Kid's missing most of his stomach, needs a rare and complicated procedure? No problem, give me a book and a steady nurse and I'll successfully do a surgery I've never even seen, cheat on my wife one time in those years and after all those chances?"

"No problem…I'll father a kid first time at bat," Trapper finished

Soon Trapper, Hawk and Margaret began to laugh. "Not only…will I father one…but he'll look just like me so everybody knows," she said between laughs.

BJ was glaring at them. "Will you knock it off?"

"He can't do anything halfway or sub-par…or average, not even adultery," Hawk blurted, "Not BJ Hunnicutt...not Captain Marvelous!"

They were all laughing hard and he was glaring at them exasperated.

"Am I interrupting something?" asked a voice that immediately cut straight to BJ's heart. He looked up and there she was, the only other woman he had ever slept with besides Peg, she had her hands in her slacks, older and grayer but still beautiful and she was staring at him with an amused look on her face.

"Don't mind them, they're just making fun of me," he grumbled.

"We're sorry, Carrie," Margaret managed to gasp. "It's just this situation is so…amazing."

Carrie nodded. "I think it's time we had a talk, BJ, want to go for a walk?"

"Need a chaperone?" Hawk added, with that cheeky grin.

Carrie rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I named him after you."

Hawk chuckled. "You did?"

She nodded. "Benjamin Jacob, we call him Jake. I tried to name him for his father, but his initials are the closest I could come, because how do you name a kid after a damned couple of letters?" she remarked with a smile.

The three jokers looked at each other and began to laugh again.

BJ stood and gently took her arm, shooting them another evil look as they walked down the other side of the hill, the laughter trailing after.

"I would ask how you've been…" BJ asked trailing off.

She sighed. "I wanted him to decide, BJ, when he asked the question I told him, it was his choice not to meet you."

"How long ago?" BJ asked as they paused in a picturesque orchard, he leaned against a gnarled apple tree.

"Six years," she responded walking away a couple of steps before crossing her arms to her chest. It was an old gesture that BJ recognized immediately, it was staggering how quickly it was all coming back.

"You look good," he remarked.

Her lips twisted in a wry smile. "Not as good as you, dear Lord, BJ, I thought I knew how seeing you would affect me since I had Jake to look at every day, but even wearing that ugly fishing hat and vest with a cheesy mustache, and nineteen years older you're still as handsome as ever."

BJ smirked and did a half turn. "What, this old thing?"

She rolled her eyes in derision but her smile gave her away. The old patterns were reasserting themselves he once again felt that tug, the one that scared the hell out of him after that one lost night.

Her eyes grew serious. "I'm sorry if this hurts you in anyway, BJ, that was never my intention."

He sighed. "I'm the one that's sorry, all this time, alone."

"You didn't know, BJ, if you did you would have insisted on being a knight in shining armor and that might have messed up what you had at home…I didn't want that. Besides, I wasn't alone. I had Jake stateside after a provisional discharge, and I married a good man when Jake was two years old, we have three kids together. Jake's got a dad; he just wanted to meet his father."

BJ closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, he was feeling a little overwhelmed and he felt himself tensing up, a bad sign to be sure, he began concentrating on his breathing. "Why now? Why did he want to meet now when he had six years?"

She sighed; there was a deep and abiding pain in her eyes as she replied. "He'll have to explain it to you himself."

They stood there in silence, BJ trying to calm his nerves. She was always so perceptive to his moods; even now nearly twenty years later she saw that something was wrong.

He headed off her pending question with one of his own. "Tell me about your husband."

She frowned to let him know that she knew what he was doing but she let it go. "His name is Maxwell Revis, he was a fighter jockey in Korea, flew F-86's on escort. He got shot down and had to hike back below the 38th parallel on foot, I met him at 212th Evac, which is where I transferred after I left the 4077th, he was everything opposite of you, short, dark, brash…available," she finished with a laugh.

"That is a good attribute," BJ responded with a smile.

She warmed to the memory. "He and I stayed in touch, even after I got my provisional. He knew I was pregnant and did not care one bit, by the time he made it back stateside, Jake was nearly two years old, he took to Jake right away, and well…" She opened her purse and rummaged around, pulling out a folio, she flipped through and showed a picture to BJ.

It was an airfield somewhere, there were jets lined up in the background, in the foreground was a pilot with a mustache grinning at the camera, his smile revealed a confidence and cockiness, also a sense of pride, on his shoulders was a happy sandy haired little boy that reminded BJ of his own son Ben.

_Correction, BJ, that is your son._

"That picture was taken after I married Max, we were stationed at Dulles," she explained. "Jake and Max were two peas in a pod for a long time, then as the other children came they grew apart, I think Jake started to realize that he did not look anything like Max, besides, he was as tall as his stepfather when he was in fifth grade."

Her face fell again and something nearly came out, BJ knew the signs that she was holding something in, he gently grabbed her shoulders. "What's wrong, you know I could always tell."

She stared into his eyes, and he suddenly remembered them being this close before.

"Ummmm…BJ?"

He looked up to see his wife standing a few steps away, she did not look as angry as she was probably justified to feel, just pensive. She was staring at them with something like weary amusement.

Carrie broke the awkwardness by stepping away from BJ and towards Peg with her hand held out. "You must be Peg."

BJ was not sure what would transpire but his wife smiled and accepted the handshake. "You must be Carrie Donovan, I've heard so much about you."

"Likewise," Carrie confirmed," and it's Revis now," she informed with a wave of the band of gold on her right hand.

Some of the tension was diffused but he still felt a trickle of sweat roll down his neck under the collar. He felt like his head was going to explode; a moment he never anticipated but had secretly feared was happening right in front of him.

"It appears I am suddenly a stepmother," Peggy remarked with a smile, she hooked her hands into her pockets in a little gesture that told BJ there would be a discussion later.

Carrie nodded; she held open the photo book she was showing to BJ for Peggy to see.

Just like that the two women bonded, as ladies will, over the pictures. Peggy looked at her husband her eyes crinkling with good humor. "He looks just like Ben did at that age."

BJ nodded still not sure the air was safe to breath. "I thought so."

Peggy smiled at Carrie. "Should I keep him roasting on the spit, or do I let him off the hook?"

Carrie glanced at BJ. "I'd let him go, but he'll owe you."

Peggy giggled. "Good idea."

"Ladies, I am standing right here," BJ complained.

Peggy gave him a once over, "And so you are."

He sighed wearily blushing all the way to his hair roots as they two ladies compared some quick notes about a certain tall doctor of their acquaintance within his hearing.

"So, what do we do from here," Peggy stated after they had made her husband squirm an amount she thought sufficient, in the same tone she used to organize the functions in the many societies that she held leadership.

Carrie nibbled her lip, it was something she always did when she was thinking too hard, BJ suddenly saw her back in Korea, alone and vulnerable and he began wondering just how much that occurred that night was time and place.

"I think BJ needs to talk to him," she said in a tone that held trepidation and hope in equal parts.

Peg nodded. "Agreed, go BJ…I'll keep Carrie company."

BJ grumbled, "Anything would be better than two females talking about me as if I were a prize steer," he quipped as he walked past.

"Nice musculature on this one, pretty eyes, good breeding stock," Peggy speculated before he was out of ear shot.

"The flanks are veeeeery nice," Carrie replied in an approving manner.

He felt his ears turn red as their merry laughter and agreement followed him out.

"You cheat with another woman, you'd think your wife would have the decency to hate her guts," he groused.

He made it back over the hill, Hawk and Trapper exchanged some money between them. "I can't believe it, the one woman he cheated with and his wife meet with him in the middle and he gets out without a scratch!" Trapper said in an awed tone of voice.

"I told you, the man can charm his way out of anything," Hawk confirmed counting out the bills.

"Nice to see the wreckage of my life can earn you a few dollars," BJ grumbled.

Trapper and Hawk exchanged a look, both rolled their eyes.

"So what ya gonna do now, Hunnicutt?" Trapper inquired.

BJ stared down the hill, the small family was mingling, the younger children, two girls and a boy were already seeking out playmates, the father, whom BJ recognized from the picture, was now balding but still sporting the same mustache, he was chatting amicably with Radar who was the official host, from the gestures he was being directed to their lodgings.

BJ's eyes found their intended target, and he got a sudden chill when he saw the tall lanky young man was staring at him.

"I need to talk to him, any ideas fellows?"

"He was unpacking the fishing poles earlier, the way he was checking the lines make me believe he knows what he's doing," Hawk supplied.

"Radar did mention that fishing hole upstream, I doubt anyone's up there yet," Trapper finished.

Hawk grinned. "And you're not wearing that lovely outfit for nothing, right?"

"These lures do make me alluring," BJ replied with a grin.

The other two men groaned as he left the hill walking down towards the son he never met.

Max Revis's eyes found BJ as he approached, but the man turned back to Radar with a resignation that showed BJ that he was not going to interfere. He found himself admiring that.

He slipped his hands into his pocket and tried to look innocuous as he came into range. "So, I see you brought your pole, care to try it out?"

He was astonished by Jake's resemblance to his son Benjamin, the eye color was different but the way he held himself and cocked his head to regard the person speaking to him was all Hunnicutt.

He did show some difference when instead of saying it out loud he just nodded his head with a shy smile and went for his tackle without another word.

A timid Hunnicutt, that was definitely new.

They made their way upstream following Radar's typically precise directions. They eyed each other trying to be casual but it was like being in a small room with an elephant in the middle, sometimes there is so much to say that words won't come.

"So, what are your plans after High School?" BJ inquired.

"Army," Jake replied with a bashful turn of the head.

A chill gripped BJ's heart, he now saw Carrie's pain in a new light.

He tried not to let his consternation show when he followed up. "What are you planning to do in the army?"

Jake shrugged then mumbled, "Radio man."

"Any good?"

For the first time since he met the young man he saw a genuine emotion. It was clear on his face and in his eyes, pride.

"Very," he replied.

BJ saw his opening. "How did you become interested in that? It's not a common hobby."

"I got interested when Dad, I'm sorry, Max took me to the base, they let me sit in on some communications, let me work the radio and I tuned one in by hand first time out. They told me that was rare," he gushed.

BJ had to laugh, this boy was a Hunnicutt alright, surgeon hands no doubt, to pull that off with no training. "I bet that felt great, and you can call him Dad, he's the one that raised you after all."

Jake suddenly relaxed and BJ realized what was causing the distance.

"Dad got me a crystal radio kit, I built it and had it working that night, then we moved up to a HAM radio, I was talking to people as far away as Alaska in no time., I've always had this gift of being able to hear the signal in the static, I've already had some college, I was tops in the class, so much so I was tutoring the other guys, you should see the mobile backpack units the Army's carrying around, they had one at college…"

"The one we had in Korea…it was a cabinet, thing was huge and ran by a crank," BJ encouraged, "You should talk to Radar or Klinger, I'll point them out, they were the only ones that could make that old thing work!"

The rest of the day went well. There was a natural banter with the boy that was effortless. Hawkeye and Trapper joined them at one point, after initial awkwardness which showed more of Jake's personality than anything, he bonded with the two men as easily as BJ had from the first.

He only wished that Erin and Ben had been there to meet Jake, both had opted for summer pursuits that kept them away this year. Ben was at a camp outside San Diego; Erin was traveling with a dancing company for the summer. With their bonding so effortlessly he was sure the rest of the family would be a piece of cake.

It was a golden memory that BJ was sure he would carry with him the rest of his life.

He was amazed, having only learned of the young man's existence a few hours ago, at how attached to Jake he felt immediately.

They took their catch back to the camp bantering the entire way while Jake listened in with a contented smile.

They heard an argument taking place as they neared the encampment.

It turned out to be Jake's brothers and sister quarreling with some other children over a radio that one of them was holding.

"I'm telling you it won't work!" stated Radar's nephew Sam.

"It will too, Jake can make it work!" Jake's sister shot back.

"Hold on!" Max Revis called out as he intervened. Radar was by his side with one of his uncles.

BJ noticed that a crowd was gathering including part of the Klinger brood and Trapper's youngest boy.

"Sorry little lady, but I'm afraid Sam's right, you can't get a signal in these parts," Radar's uncle drawled.

Max shot a glance at Jake and grinned. "I bet you Jake can."

"I want in on this money," BJ added pulling a bill out of the roll in his pocket.

Radar and his uncle joined in as Trapper added to the pot in Jake's favor soon others were standing around to watch including to BJ's relief Carrie and Peggy apparently unscathed.

Jake had the radio in his hands his ear to the hissing speaker as his long fingers turned the knob eyes closed in concentration adjusting the antenna in increments that seemed minute.

"There's just no way, sirs," Radar murmured to BJ, Hawk and Trapper, "We get a signal at the farm but we had to by this new fangled booster for that! I can't get a station in the truck until I'm almost at the city limits!"

"Just watch," Max replied with a satisfied smile.

BJ liked the man, and was happy that Jake was able to grow up with someone taking that much pride in him, his genes had little to do with the way his son turned out, but this man almost a head shorter than him was obviously the biggest influence and for that BJ owed him thanks.

Jake looked up with a smile on his face with a twist of the knob they heard a commentator announcing a station out of Des Moine. "Must be a new FM station," Jake informed shyly.

"Must be a genius!" Hawk declared which was seconded by all else present.

**Hunnicutt Den:**

BJ sat in the silence of his study hearing Peggy putter around making more sound than usual probably trying to let him know she was there, it was her way of being unobtrusive.

His eyes found framed photos on the wall.

One was of the day he first met Jake, together with their fishing poles, Jake was smiling in that shy way he had that was all his.

The one beside was of Erin, Ben and Jake seated around the kitchen table, Jake had his hair buzzed, a grim specter in a photo that was otherwise filled with happiness. Ben had found a big brother, and Erin had found a sibling closer to her age, the way their brother came into the world was irrelevant. They had nearly two years before Jake went in, since he was a volunteer, two years with BJ gently trying to dissuade him and hitting that Hunnicutt mule streak.

There were even a couple months, after a falling out with Max over his enlistment, where he stayed upstairs at the Hunnicutt's with Ben, at Ben's insistence, the rift healed between Jake and Max before he shipped out, but it was a near thing.

The next framed memory was of Jake and all of his brothers and sisters, Erin and Ben in with the brood of the kids Jake helped raise and loved with all his heart, the day he boarded the plane. BJ remembered the bitter-sweetness of those moments. Pride at his son's desire to serve, awe of the boy's determination, fear for his life, anger at the war that took him away, and hope for a safe return.

He felt a tear sliding down his cheek, he let it. One lesson he had learned the hard way was to feel your emotions while you can, because the day will come you can't express them properly and they come out as other less healthy expressions.

He knew he should call Carrie, but he reached the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart.

"Hello?"

"Hawk, it's me."

From the tone of voice and because he was the person outside of Peggy that knew BJ best, Hawk guessed the reason.

"Where's the funeral going to be held?"

"Fort Worth, I don't know the exact date yet," BJ replied with a relieved sigh.

"Doesn't matter, you have another phone call to make, call me back later and we'll talk, does it say how he died?"

BJ had to sigh. "posthumous Medal of Honor recipient, Hawk, gravely wounded with a half busted radio, the bastard found a way to call in an airstrike on his own position to cover a retreat, saved the whole damned company."

"That sounds like Jake," Hawk replied.

"Yes…Yes it does," BJ replied choking up a little.

"Hang in there, talk to you later," Hawk replied and there was a click.

It wasn't being rude; it was Hawk realizing that he needed to make a phone call before he could properly grieve.

He checked the address book he kept by the phone and made the call.

**Soon after the opening of the Vietnam Memorial November 1982**

"Have you found the blasted thing yet?" Hawkeye called from the wheelchair.

"Hold your horses, Hawk, my eyes aren't what they used to be, he's on this part of the wall, I just have to locate him," BJ called back impatiently.

To anyone passing by, it was two grumbling old men growling at each other, but Natty Pierce knew different. He made this long journey down from Maine with these two cranky elderly men, one who really should not have traveled this far with his failing health, but trying to tell Hawkeye Pierce anything was still a useless venture, now more so because he was nearly deaf and would not admit it.

His uncle B's finger stopped its tracing and he began to laugh.

"What is it?" Hawk demanded.

BJ stepped to the side so the other two men could have a look. The name on the wall was B.J. Hunnicutt.

They all exchanged a smile.

"You would have liked him, Nat," BJ informed the younger man.

Nat nodded. "Erin and Ben told me some stories..."

"What's MOH mean, Uncle B? I saw it in the name book earlier."

BJ pulled a case out of his inner coat pocket and held it out, Nat opened it with the reverence it was due. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Medal of Honor. His Mother wanted me to keep it until she could look at it without throwing something. She still hasn't asked for it back, his step-father Max told me he never wanted to see it again," BJ informed as Hawkeye focused in the 35mm Ricoh that his grandchildren had collectively bought him last Christmas on the writing BJ had pointed out, unfortunately they had about seven stops to make, Vietnam had claimed more than one 4077th youngster, and they both had more relatives to find.

Showing the younger Pierce boys all knew their grandfather well; the gift box the 35mm had come in contained a telephoto lens with directions to the pretty widow woman's bedroom window across the street.

"We better get this done," BJ said with a grin, "you are still officially banned from Washington DC, I checked."

Hawk sighed with contentment. "Oh it's nice to be remembered."

"No streaking across the White House lawn, Nixon was merely appalled but Reagan has a gun collection and is libel to use it," informed an older guard who was patrolling nearby, "I'll forget I saw you if you'll give me an autograph before you leave, the man who managed to moon Nixon is a Secret Service legend."

Hawk straightened up in is chair. "Always happy to meet a fan."

BJ and Natty exchanged an eye roll before BJ commented. "Please, don't encourage him."

The man grinned, and tipped his hat before strolling on.

"You know," Hawk began, "The White House east lawn has a steep incline you could just give me a roll, and you wouldn't even have to stay."

"No!" both Natty and BJ informed before he could get a full head of steam.

He crossed his arms and grumbled as BJ checked his notes and they moved in the direction of one of Henry Blake's sons who made 2nd Lieutenant out of West Point and died in the Tet offensive.

One thing BJ and Hawk agreed on, the solitary monument was a fitting tribute to Jake, tall, quiet and understated.

**Back at the Hotel:**

The motel bar was nearly empty as BJ slipped in. He had not had a drink in nearly ten years, but he wanted to toast his son.

The establishment was nice and private from his earlier glance and tastefully appointed, he scouted it earlier out of a hunch that after the memorial trip he would need a drink.

He was making his way to the dark wood, brass fitted counter when he overheard a conversation.

_I know I'm drunk, but give me another round, I'm trying to toast my boy!"_

BJ glanced at the end of the bar where the argument was being held and to his surprise he saw Max Revis.

The last time he saw the graying man was at Peggy's funeral, he was still in shape for his age, but BJ's doctor eyes saw that in the last two years he had gone from slender to gaunt.

BJ walked up and met the exasperated bartender's eyes, and was happy to see concern and sympathy there. He gave him a nod and slipped in beside Max.

"Carrie's going to have kittens if she sees you drinking this much, Max," he stated gesturing at the pyramid of empty shot glasses.

Max's bleary eyes found his. "Oh it's you. Damn it!"

BJ did not know how to take that so he nodded. "I came here to find Jake's name on the wall, just like you, I'll bet."

"She never got over Jake, you know?" Max blurted, "You…you took my boy and my wife!"

To his surprise Max collapsed against his shoulder and began sobbing, he just embraced the man and let him do so. He and Hawk had supported each other through times like this enough that he had some practice.

He glanced at the bartender realizing that he had no desire to drink after all. "How much?"

"Vet's drink free, at least this one is," he informed with a dismissive gesture.

BJ nodded his thanks. "Let's get you back to your room, Max," he said as he gently helped the man to his feet, they made their lurching journey back to the elevators when he realized that he did not know Max's room number and the man was too far gone to tell him.

Without hesitation he took him back to his own room. Nat and Hawkeye were next door so he would not be disturbing them with his and Max's three legged race.

It took some juggling to get Max onto his hip, his own back protesting the maneuver, but he got the card swiped and the room open somehow and got Max over to his bed where the man promptly collapsed with his legs dangling off the side.

Having undressed a drunk or stoned Hawkeye more than once during their army days, he had some experience with the maneuvers required and soon he had the smaller man in his crew neck and boxers tucked under the sheet and coverlet, turned him on his side to prevent asphyxiation.

The gauntness that he suspected was worse than he thought when he saw that the man's ribs were beginning to make an impression under the flesh of his chest during his cursory examination before he pulled the sheets up.

He looked like that after Peg died, if wasn't for Ben and Erin and Hawkeye forcefully pulling him out…he would not have been alive to see this memorial to his son and to those who died on the same soil.

This was what grief looked like on a man who was not one to complain or draw attention to himself, how did Carrie miss this?"

Unless for some reason, she and Max were no longer living together, words that Max spat at him came back with a new resonance, especially since he had seen Carrie just a few months after burying the love of his life…and he had a hunch where Max got the wrong idea.

"_She never got over Jake, you know? You…you took my boy and my wife!"_

He needed to have a long overdue chat with Carrie Donovan-Revis.

He had a hunch that she was somewhere in the same motel so he called down to the desk to see if she had registered under her own name, he probably could have done the same to get Max's room but the man needed looking after, and he was beginning to think they there was some air that needed to be cleared once he had sobered, but to do that he needed to find out what else was going on.

By the time Max began stirring just after the crack of dawn the next day, showing his military service more than anything the man had done so far, BJ was ready to talk.

Max swung his legs out opposite side from where BJ was dozing, trying to leave without noise, BJ opened his eyes, "there's coffee coming up in an hour, until then, you owe me some air time." He stated sitting up.

Max froze where he was, "How much did I say?"

"Enough," BJ responded.

"Damn," Max grunted, he quested around for his pants and by the time BJ stood, the shorter man was dressed and sitting at the room's table, he had a water glass with a few ice cubes from the bucket that BJ had went out for after his talk with Carrie, he was chewing a chip and staring pensively ahead.

"Why did you leave her, Max?" BJ inquired with no preamble.

Max shrugged, "You know why," he responded in a warning tone.

BJ sat across, his knees creaking as he sat.

"What do you think happened?"

Max glared at him. "I know she swung by San Francisco on her way back from Sacramento after her niece got married, there's only one person she knows there, I asked her why she felt she needed to see you, she said, to see how you were doing, I knew she was lying about something, she would never tell me what, but a man knows…you don't have anything to add to that I wanna hear."

The man started to get to his feet and storm out, but BJ reached a long arm across and gently nudged him back into his chair.

"She did nothing wrong, I was the one who crossed the line, she promised not to tell a soul, Ben and Erin would have been devastated, Peggy wasn't in the ground four months and I was making a move on someone, I know it was out of grief and the fact she still is the spitting image of Peg, but it's one of the most shameful things I have ever done in my life, to know it hurt her marriage makes it even more horrifying…"

Max began to speak but he just couldn't form the words. "She never…you were the one she was protecting…she'll never forgive me for this," he finally managed through his guilt and shock.

BJ wasn't sure of the comfort he could give, so he gave the man room and silence.

The quiet was broken by a polite knock, BJ went and got the coffee, he sat it on the table while Max collected himself.

He watched as the man made himself a straight up black cup and wiped his eyes with one of the napkins from the tray.

He was trying to maintain his dignity but he could not get a hold of his emotions, "I don't know what's wrong with me, BJ, there's no way in hell I would ever hurt Carrie, but… I left her, I've been so angry all the time…I screwed up! How can I ever fix this?"

"How long have you had PTSD symptoms, Max," he inquired as he poured himself a steaming mug.

Max flinched at the diagnoses, "I'm alright…Guys on the ground had it worse, why should I take their spot?"

"As I recall, you crashed behind enemy lines and spent some time on the ground yourself," BJ responded before taking his scalding first sip.

"Spent one week above the 38th parallel, I don't see how that would affect me the rest of my life," Max grumbled with a dismissive wave.

"Depends," BJ replied.

Max finally regarded him head on, "On what?" he demanded.

BJ sat the coffee down and gave him eye contact, "It depends on what you saw in that week, it only takes one incident that shakes you to your very humanity to bring it on, for me all the violence and death I was witness to, all of the dead kids and live ones that I cut body parts off of, all of the atrocities I observed, some within the first hour in-country, and it all came down to cutting a rope to save myself that probably caused a man his life, stateside I operated on a kid and lost him, I drank and drugged my way into a coma, crawled into my own head and almost didn't make it back out, if hadn't been for Hawk's stubbornness and an amazing effort by the old 4077th we might not be having this conversation. All that, and it all came back to that one cut rope. So what is screaming through your head right this moment, that event that you can't let go of?"

Max looked as if he wanted to laugh it off, he chuckled but it was a dry, brittle exhalation without any mirth.

"I did some things in that week to survive that I'll have to live with the rest of my days, I'll have to make peace with that someday, but I'll do that on my own," he remarked ruefully tapping his temple.

BJ nodded his head, "That wasn't all you said last night," he prodded.

"The invitation to this unveiling had Jake's last name, or what he changed it to," Max spat, his tone quivering in rage, "I thought I was okay with it but seeing it on the wall…it's like I'm erased, there's nothing to show the world how much I loved him…" he stopped but not before a catch in his voice.

"He never told you why he changed his name?" BJ inquired.

Max shook his head. "He was due to come home on leave the month that he died, he said he wanted to talk to me about something, the notification of the name change going through came to me almost the same week as his death notification…Army red tape ."

"I think I need to tell you about Jake and I's last conversation," BJ began, "You need to hear this, you've needed to hear this for a long time, evidently…"

**Galveston Beach:**

BJ just could not sleep, Peg was breathing even beside him, and he did not want his tossing and turning to affect her, so he slipped out of the motel's queen bed and out into the still warm Galveston night, he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, well they were boxers but anyone up at this blue hour was not going to mind, he slipped his feet into the sandals he had abandoned by the door after their beach excursion what seemed like years before, but was only yesterday.

He had no idea where he was headed, but a quick scan of the parking lot made his choice for him, there was a tall man leaning against the railing just across the road, his hair looked buzzed in the moonlight and street lamp on the fritz a few just up the street, he was smoking, a habit of which Carrie was not fond, that he picked up at boot camp.

BJ crossed the street, carefully watching for traffic, this was Texas after all, rather than stay on the Laughlin Air Force base, which was where Jakes Company was departing from, Jake had insisted on both families spending the last few days sequestered in this spot together. It had some significance to Jake's childhood, but BJ and Peg never pressed as to specifics.

He settled in at the rail, upwind of the cigarette smoke. "Tell me you're going to stop that habit before you're thirty," he needled as Jake stubbed out his butt and tossed it into the sand below.

"If I reach thirty," Jake responded with sad smile.

"Come on now," BJ warned, "don't talk that way."

"Doesn't matter, I volunteered," Jake replied, "there are a lot over there right now that never got the chance to say yes or no, I can't grumble about it now that it's here and I'm about to go in-country by the end of the week."

"Grumble all you want," BJ said with a chuckle, "it helps keep you sane."

Jake playfully nudged BJ's shoulder, "says the man standing out here in the middle of the morning in his underwear and those ugly sandals."

BJ acted offended, then he checked out the sandals, "You've got my feet, you know how hard it is to find foot wear your size that don't look like clown shoes."

"Bozo will want those back at some point," Jake remarked with a grin under the budding moustache that Carrie was also lamenting.

"He can have them," BJ replied with a chuckle, "these things are UGLY!"

After a companionable back slap, they stood there in silence for a few moments; BJ sensed there was something to be said, so he gave the young man room for it.

"I was going to let this be a surprise, Dad and Mom signed off on it already, but I want your blessing…"

BJ turned to his newly found son, "What could you possibly need my blessing for?"

Jake smiled. "I've just filed the paperwork to change my name, it might take a few years with the Army, but my rank and dog tags are going to be re-issued, all my uniforms have been changed already," he turned to see his father's reaction when he said," I'm changing it to Hunnicutt."

BJ surprised himself with a sudden surge of horror. "Now wait, you were raised by Max, you are a Revis, you've only just known me a couple of years here, don't make a rash decision because you're scared!"

"Finding the pattern in the noise, BJ, that's what it all comes down to," the young man ruminated as if BJ's outburst never happened, "I've always been able to find that one thing in the static that had structure and lock onto it, that's what tuning a radio is all about, I always felt like in my life I've been stuck in the noise. Ever since I was two, you always wind up talking about your daddies with other kids at that age…and I realized, I didn't have one…"

He stopped BJ's protestation with hand up. "I know you would've been there, just like I know it would have hurt you and your family, I'm not talking about the past here, just telling the story."

BJ nodded for him to go on.

"The first time I heard the signal in the noise was when this strange man showed up while I was playing in the front yard at my grandparents, by myself as usual, my cousins were told not to play with Carrie's little bastard…he was wearing a blue uniform and mirrored sunglasses, which I thought were neat, he just squatted down and talked to me like he knew me, I warmed up to him instantly, which never happened before, and only one time since," he said with a nudge on BJ's shoulder. "Mom came out, and she knew who he was because she ran into his arms, and he took us both to lunch.

Mom had never dated anyone, all I knew was that she would occasionally get phone calls that she had to shout to be heard, and there were letters, but they way they took to one another was more than friends, suddenly before the year was out, I wasn't a bastard anymore, I had a Daddy and a last name, and since he was a fighter pilot, I had a cool daddy to brag about, if I could ever bring myself to brag that is…"

He paused, collecting his thoughts.

"The second pattern I tuned in was when I played with that first radio, finally I found something I was good at, and I loved communicating with other people, I picked up a radio handle, String Bean, and I chatted with people all over, I think I had friends four states away that were closer to me than those in my own school, then things got lost again when suddenly I was taller than Dad, well Dad's whole family, and I began asking questions, Mom finally told me who you were, but it made me hear the white noise even louder, and I just didn't want to know, I cost us six years together because I was afraid. Then, finally, I met you, my same big feet, my long arms and fingers, my nose and forehead and ears, it was finally clear, Ben and Erin looked like me and had my sense of humor, except Ben is a lot funnier than I ever was, I finally knew all of it…"

He made sure BJ met his eyes. "I am a Hunnicutt, that doesn't change who my Dad is, but it's who I am."

"Max deserves better," BJ replied, "he raised you."

"He'll understand someday, he knows how long I struggled with who I am, we had a huge fight about this, which is why I came to stay with you a while, but he loves me, he knows I love him, I'm still that little boy he found alone in the front yard, I always will be, I'm happy now, and I know in the long run that's the most important thing to him."

There was other things said, but they were lost in time, Jake boarded the plane and the letter came less than two years later.

**Hotel Room:**

The room was quiet as BJ finished.

"He started out…being the thing I accepted to be with Carrie…I was ready to take on being a daddy because I loved her…" Max began wiping a tear, "but when I saw him, all alone, he did this thing when I said hello, he flinched…I knew I would die before I'd ever let anyone hurt him again,"

He turned to BJ and offered a hand, "I was his daddy, but I guess I never thought about how much meeting you would mean to him, thanks for clearing that up."

He placed a hand on Max's shoulder, "I can't help but think that there has been an awful lot of damage done because we don't talk to each other, before any more hard feelings crop up, I would like for you and I to correct that." In lieu of shaking the man's hand he handed him the Medal of Honor case.

Max nodded as he studied the case, knowing instantly what it was and what it meant. "I think that's what Jake would have wanted."

BJ made sure he had eye contact then said, "I was given a good piece of advice that has kept me sane, _a natural reaction to severe pain is to huddle in the corner like an injured dog and bite any hand that comes near to help, the only way to stay healthy is to share your burdens with those who love you and be transparent_, what that means is, tell Carrie everything, and do me a favor, never let her go until you have to?"

Max nodded with a sigh.

There was a polite knock, and BJ smiled, "speaking of which," he walked to the door and let a graying but still pretty Carrie in, she nodded her thanks then went to her husband, BJ called out, "See you at the memorial and dedication service, feel free to do what I would never do...again, the room is paid up."

He chuckled at Carrie's glare. Before he closed the door he smiled as the couple embraced, he had a hunch that he needed a new place to stay for a bit.

He sighed behind the closed door. "I did the best I could do Jake. It's up to them now."

He went and knocked on the room next door.

"If it's the fruitcake from California, tell him we don't want any," said a familiar voice from inside the room.

"Open up grandpa," he grumbled with a smile.

**Dedication of the Vietnam Memorial**

The service was simple and profound in a way that was healing for all who were in attendance, Erin and Ben surprised BJ by showing up with their families, he now had his youngest grandson on his knee, a spark of happiness and vitality that offered a hope for the future in a place devoted to never forgetting the past.

There was a large group standing off to the side after the service, they were the survivors and families of Jake's platoon, relatives of the men he saved with his last act. They were greeting Max and Carrie, who was carrying Jake's Medal of Honor at last in her hands, nodding at the thanks given to them for raising such an amazing person without whom none would have made it out that day, they looked comfortable arm in arm.

"_One lost night in Korea, one indiscretion in all our years of marriage, under such extreme circumstances, and this is where it led", _BJ thought to himself looking off over his grandson's tousled blond curls into the blue sky,_ "Carrie and I might not have planned him, but maybe somebody else did."_

They were there a while, it was quite a crowd, all one-hundred and thirty-eight of them.

**END**

* * *

I've been a way for a while, I hope this means I can start finishing projects, keep your fingers crossed. See you soon I hope.

**Bart**


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